So, things have been fine, but we constantly have a cloud hanging over our heads (trying to sell the house). Last week, we had to renew our contract with our selling agent & we decided to lower the price. It was a drawn out ordeal & it felt so important to us. I didn't know how to feel the next day when mere minutes after sending the agreement back to the real estate agent, the new price was already relfected online. So much drama & buildup in our brains, and to someone else, it's just click click click and it's done.
The next day, I was listening to NPR in the morning - which is unusual, so I now know the message was intended for me (thank you, universe) - they played an excerpt from a commencement speech given by Steve Jobs (I think at Stanford). Anyways, here's the quote:
"Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
This made me take a deep breath and remember that I can't take everything so seriously. I need to just let things take their course. Maybe this will be a blessing in disguise ... and I'll be able to see that ... decades in the future. But seriously, what exactly am I clutching onto so tightly? A credit score? An image? An illusion that I'm not constantly screwing up? :)
What makes those things more important than, say, choosing to get up every morning, put on my big girl panties, and go face my little world. Giant butt, hips, thighs and all! What makes those things more important than rebuilding? And maybe we can learn from our first mistakes, the second time around. Just like Frank & Carol in Step by Step.
